If u duno how to speak English

No Speak English

A Russian woman married a Canadian gentleman and they lived happily ever after in Toronto . The poor lady was not very proficient in English, but did manage to communicate with her husband. The real problem arose whenever she had to shop for groceries.

One day, she went to the butcher and wanted to buy chicken legs. She didn't know how to put forward her request, and in desperation, clucked like a chicken and lifted up her skirt to show her thighs. Her butcher got the message, and gave her the chicken legs.

0ANext day she needed to get chicken breasts, again she didn't know how to say it, and so she clucked like a chicken and unbuttoned her blouse to show the butcher her breasts. The butcher understood again, and gave her some chicken breasts.

On the 3rd day, the poor lady needed to buy sausag es. Unable to find a way to communicate this, she brought her husband to the store...

(Please scroll down.)

What were you thinking?
Hellooooooo, her husband speaks English!
Now get back to your work.

I don't know about you sometimes

Exercise

Recently i hav too many activities carry on and i just back from Santubang resort last nite. While i was staying in santubong resort, i saw this sign board.

Path to Exercise room...... while on my way back to my hotel room.




so, my room=exercise room?

wat kind of exercise is tat? can u tell me wat u read from the picture?

where is the toilet?

Went to Chin Fu church last few days. But in the midst of the programs i wanted to pee....so i follow the instuction at the wall...until i reach this pole....it still ask me to keep going and turn left.....

fine, i turned left but....i saw this, it ask me 2 turn to the side just now....wow, do i need 2 pee here? in the midst of two pole??

i still can tahan a bit lar.....but my friend cant tahan....and he really follow the "law" or should i say the "instruction"..... peeing at this "toilet".

haha, all of the above is kidding lar, at last we finally found the toilet, a toilet wif a guys toilet bowl in one room..... nice ya....

foochow kung fu

i am too free n bored today, when i browse thru youtube, i saw this clip. Foochow

Hot, very hot!!

Recently, the weather goes mad, the weather is damn hot and heat. i took this pic last week at my office, the "eye of sun". i know this is a natural phenomena in sains context, but after this "eye of sun" appear, it becomes so so so hot....wonder why.....



fire? hot? heat? could it be another sign of end of world, i duno. But i know what written in the bible, God's flood destroy all the life in earth, and he promise not to come with another flood to destroy mankind......

so, if another end of world is coming, where's another noah's ark??

could it be this one??

The "Toyota Noah"

The next generation Noah's Ark.........

The Toyota Noah.....LoL?



Isnt it so cool??

why bank is rich?

i went to HSBC to check my account balance last 2 days and i found out this.

HSBC got 5 cash deposit machine, 2 cheque deposit machine, (total 7) for ppl to give money to them. but they only open got 3 ATM machines which give ppl chance 2 take money from them.

so, is bank money suker? or u and i so stupid 2 let them suck our money??

Where can u learn foul words?

Ever since when i was a kids, i keep thinking, is there a institute that can learn foul language? Keep searching for 24 years, now i found it!!!

The 三字经语言中心(foul language institute). right here in kuching, behind upwell supermarket.

Mas Wing

Remember i was outstation from btu to sibu last few days, here's the ticket:

See the "????" in Gate column, i think the MasWing girls chat too much on Msn until she type the ???? in the ticket.

i tot i was in primary school or attending a sunday school, now i know MasWing likes Season Soya Bean so much.

LoL?

冷......

小白很像他哥哥,知道爲什麽嗎?

因爲：真像大白

Green Height mall

Today is the opening of the latest shopping mall in kuching, Green height mall. This mall is a bit different from others, they didnt locate themself in the heart of kuching, but they locate themselve at residental area, aiming for resident. The anchor tenant is non other than the famous cold-storage.

Green-height mall
Some of us, standing at the front door....


the anchor tenant, Cold storage-the fresh food people

let me tell u a story, One day one jagung break up wif his gf, then he feel so stress and so sad, so he go up to sibu wisma sanyan, jumping down from the 28th floor....

so the jagung became...."o che" like below.. present u the cold storage "o che" jagung!

There's all sorts of imported things, nice in design, nice in looking, nice 2 drink, and nice in price too. RM8.99 for a tin of coke....u wan 2 have a try??


and somehow, this shop is located in green height mall, a shop which will be opening soon.but i duno how 2 pronounce it, i try 2 pronounce it but ppl say i am talking foul languge, did i?

Ma-gic-bike (sound like hokkien) = MCB??

Lmao???

BTC group

who say BTC(bor tak-cek) people cannot earn big money......? i saw this Bor-tak-cek group is operating their business in UMS(uni of sabah) earning "tak-cek" uni student money...

so...

do u think getting a degree cert can confirm u earning big money next time???

BTC group slogan: "Bor-tak-cek Maju!!!!"

so......

"to study or not study, that is the question"

crazy fuel price

The government has just announced that petrol price is going up by 78 sen at today 5/6/08 - a 40.6 percent jump from RM1.92 per litre to RM2.70!!!!! do not think tat's the ceiling price of tis increment, the price will go up to RM4.00 per litre in the future. Everything will just increase for no reason after the fuel increase.

Government said,they will refund rm625/year to the car owner. and lets say the increasing of fuel and misc per month is rm500 x 12 months = RM6000..and wtf government is giving only RM625, how 2 cover up???

Our government always said, our fuel price is the cheapest among the region...come on la, wat for u compare to singapore, a small town without any natural mineral, and somemore average income per person per year is far more higher than malaysian...and lets see this breakdown chart...do u think we are cheap among those countries???


This is the chart from our uncle lim kit siong blog....see our hiking...so damn high in thse 4 years.


Where's gone our 600 million profit by Petronas? If you include the figure for the period until 31 March 2008, then you are probably looking at a figure closer to RM700 billion, with the higher oil prices.



it's a bloody hell of jumping price. ppl like us, need 2 buy a BMX bicycle to go 2 work already.

This is a singapore lame joke.

PM??

Just a simple and cold jokes to brighten up everyone's day ^_^

(One day, the famous xiao ming meet the famous ah beng and below were their conversation....)

xiao ming: eh! ah beng, i saw abdullah Badawi walking in the evening but not morning...duno why ar??

ah beng: of cos lar, he is PM mah....not AM.

xiao ming: .......*speechless.

Dont judge the book wif its cover

haven been updating for quite some time, been quite busy and no internet at home. i;ve just got a new job and finally i got my own pc today in office....so from now onwards...i can online again!!!!!!


Just wanted 2 share a funny comic tat i saw today.....

*CLICK to enlarge the PIC

lesson learned: Please bring a book along wif u whenever u wan 2 gorek ur "pi sai".

malaysia jokes..

Had been busy doing the revision recently and no times for new updates. just read a long time ago funny jokes about malaysia races and religion. it's still quite funny when i look this jokes back. it's just for fun and no offence.... have fun and enjoy the jokes.



久很久很久很久。。。。以前，因为传说中马来亚半岛是黄金半岛，结果大量涌入了四大民族：红毛人（鬼佬）华人，印度人和马来人。


有一天，不知名的神仙托梦给四大民族，说在马来亚半岛北部有一座山，名叫
大山脚'山上有很多宝藏。


华人，天生就比较勤劳。梦醒后就在天还没亮就结伴上山去寻宝，在山上果然发现很多精致的公仔雕像，就全部把他们搬下山。就是我们现在拜的神像了。

印度人，八点才起床连忙赶到山上去。到了山上发现那些完美的神像被华人扫完了，地上剩下一些支离破碎的神像，印度人心想好过没有啦，就把那些断手断脚的统统拿回家，用
粘回去，不过断手太多很难认出是哪一尊神像的就随便粘。所以现在他们拜的神都是很多手的，另外还有当年不小心被粘上象头的神像。

红毛人（鬼佬），十点钟起床。吃完早餐大摇大摆上山去，一到山上天啊神像被扫一空，剩下地上几支树枝，红毛人（鬼佬）心想好过空手回，就捡了那些树枝回去，把它绑起来成十字形。就是我们现在看到的十字架。

马来人，睡到十二点屁股晒太阳，带着梦游的脚步上山，到了山上带头见到宝藏没了扒在地上大叫
啊啊啊啊啊啊。。。没啦！！！'随从们听到带头的大叫以为是在叫神仙的名字，便也跟着扒在地上一齐喊
啊啊啊啊啊啊。。没啦！'style='color:#464F86'>就是现在我们所听到的' 啊啊啊啊啊啊。。。啦！！



马来西亚种族肤色的由来


又是很久很久很久很久。。。以前，不明神仙又路过黄金半岛，发现四大民族（华人，鬼佬，马来人和印度人）都是同一肤色黑。于是便又托梦给四大民族，告诉他们明早又到山上集会，不明神仙会带同五千年才收集到一桶的圣水给他们洗掉身上的黑色素，可以变成白皙的皮肤。

四大民族（华人，鬼佬，马来人和印度人）不约而同的天还没亮就出发，这回轮到鬼佬腿较长先到达山上，华人慢了一步排在第二，马来人排第三，印度人迷路了还在森林中。不明神仙就让先到的鬼佬先进去圣水桶浸圣水。


一个小时后，鬼佬从圣水桶爬出来，身上的黑色素完全脱落，变得白里透红，各大民族羡慕极了！！（所以我们今天看到的鬼佬都很白哦。）

轮到华人下去浸圣水了，华人一跳下圣水桶就闻到一股尿味，原来鬼佬在桶中待了一小时忍不住撒了一泡尿，可能吃太多榴莲导致热气那泡尿特别黄！华人浸了一的小时后发现黑色素没了不过被尿染黄了身体非常伤心，在跳出圣水前就拉了一堆屎。（华人又称黄种人就是这个由来）

终于轮到马来人了，马来人一见到华人跳出圣水桶，逼不急待的用饿狗抢屎的招式跃入圣水桶，进到桶中发现很多浮上来的

油条'，忍着痛苦浸了两个小时，发现黑色素只消除了一点，身上染了大便的颜色非常愤怒，一脚把圣水桶踢翻。
（所以今天我们看到的马来人都是朱古力色的）

迷了路的印度人终于到了山上，被圣水桶绊倒，好彩身手敏捷双手按在地上也没受伤。圣水被土地吸收了。。。没了。。不明神仙要收集圣水也要五千年所以就化作白烟告辞了。

（您有注意到吗？印度人虽然全身都黑，不过脚板和手掌心会比较白。不相信的话打开您的印度朋友掌心或脱掉他们的鞋子看看！！）

故事完了。以上故事，全属虚构，如有雷同，全属开玩
笑！！

handicap car slot

i bet all of u know this handicap logo. this car slot is specially for handicap ppl rite?? may b u will reply me like tat. Of cos lar, "ju mang gong meh nv"(foochow) mean (so stupid meh u?)

i saw this car parking at handicap car slot just now at the spring hypermall. so i start scolding....


me: waiha, nowadays ppl bo moral one, handicap car slot also park...si bei ngong....

sh: yea lor yea lor, so stupid them. this car slot suppose to let those disable ppl put wheel-chair one ma, then they can walk to shopping center. where can put car there....

me: har? wheel-chair?? handicap walk??....*beng*

sh: sniff*

"lo yau" food court??

Chinese like to use weird and funny direct translation. get me? i will tell u why!!
If u can read chinese, this food center is call "老友记" and English name is "Lo yau food center"

"lo yau" in cantonese means--- Ass/屁股 so....in chinese it suppose to use "屁股记" LOL?

This is a food court beside McD in 3rd mile, but i can tell u, this "ass food center"'s BBQ fish is best!!!

i bought a Ferrari 599 GTB FIORANO!!

ahsung : i bought a Ferrari GTB Fiorano.
someone: kanasai la u!!, u tot me siao one ar? can blieve wat u say meh...
ahsung: like tat look down on me lar?!!
someone: fine, how much is ur ferrari cost?
ahsung: 8.59
someone: wa!!, 859K??
ahsung: no la, is RM 8.59....lolz....from shell petrol station...haha!
someone: diu u...=.=````


i really bought a Ferrari 599 GTB Fiorano yesterday, but of cos it;s not the real one lar, it's just a model of tat version, ratio by 1:38. quite a cool one.



This model integrate with "Vroom, Vroom" sound, u can even change the battery when ur "vroom vroom" sound weak...low batt...lolz , but according to them, the engine sound is simulating the real engine from particular model of ferrari...sound cool??

i think this is malaysian typical kind of style, even a car model also wan 2 sound fierce, lolz...=.=


other than Ferrari 599 GTB fiorano, i also bought a ferrari 250 GTO which is a very classic version of ferrari. There are all about 7 cars for collection. Get all of them now in any Shell petrol station nearby u...


Want 2 see how cars and their "vroom vroom" engine sound like??
CLICK HERE

wat lesson do u learn from this story???

Another routine and boring class........

know wat makes stay awakes for my every boring class??----- That's it, HALLS(with Strong mint)
This candy accompany me throughout my sleepy and boring class throughout these 3 years.


As usual it was another expected boring lesson. But after i read the the strategic management case study yesterday, i learned something......

ps: Click to enlarge if u cant see the words......

Question: What lesson can u learn from this story???
Answer: i learned to shout at ppl - "hey, get the HELL out of here"

this is wat i learned yesterday.